Cesar Cornejo - Education and Peru and Colour in Culture

Siempre la misma historia (The same old story), Cesar Cornejo, 2004.

I am off to to London to see the third Glauber Rocha film at the Tate tonight - Terra em Transe. It is so sad that the curator of this film series, who I have spoken to, did not organize a 'talk' session of some kind, to go with the series. It would be great to have a discussion with some of the other people who are coming to see these films.

But I did enjoy the discussions at the day symposium the Tate held on the work of Helio Oiticica on 2nd June. It was an interesting mixture of academics, art curators, conservators, journalists and artists so the talks varied greatly in detail and in approach. And I was brave enough to spend time talking to some of the audience and speakers, in particular an artist called Cesar Cornejo, who is from Peru. He trained originally as an architect, did his sculptural training and PHD in Japan during the Fujimori years, and now does some installation work which he calls anti-architecture. In some ways his career is like Helio's travelling from 'concrete organizational purity' to work much more socially concerned.

La Cantuta - a grief for a Peruvian tragedy - Cesar Cornejo

2005

The symposium was on 'colour' in Helio Oiticica's work, but it was more about the artistic technicalities than the political issues about 'coded' and 'countercultural symbolism' - the latter is a very 'walking on eggs' area, and led to some quite impassioned (for academics) discussions !!! He does use a lot of yellow, but well before 1964, in his 'concrete period'. But as my Recife intellectuals of the 1950s and 1960s were quite plugged into this as well, I think the cultural debates within Brazil are more interesting and a more fruitful area of research than worrying about whether it is part of international trends of the time (Yves Klein etc). that is because it can be traced in poetry of the period in Recife, and possibly elsewhere. The literary writer I have been considering in relation to this is Carlos Pena Filho and his Soneto do Desmantelo Azul. This was the subject of an earlier film by Claudio Assis ( Amarelo Manga) made in 1993 and called in deference to internationalism Soneto do Desmantelo Blue.

Soneto do Desmantelo Azul

Então, pintei de azul

os meus sapatos

por não poder de azul pintar as ruas,

depois, vesti meus gestos insensatose colori,

as minhas mãos e as tuas...

Carlos Pena Filho(1929-1960)

Actually those who make claims about international influences (ie Western) as dominant are easily revealed as 'Euro-centric' First World cultural snobs. Same problem popped up over the discussions about Helio Oiticica's own post 1959 work, after he worked inthe Mangueira favela in Rio and discovered the structural realities of temporary housing. (It is very damp !.)Contemporary European work (on building materials and structures ) in the same area is derivative of activity in marginalized places, which it then 'universalizes' as a world concern which needs artistic expression, but in the process of course, further marginalizes the very cultural expression which told the story in the first place.



To see the work of Cesar Cornejo - see http://www.cesarcornejo.com/
To see information about Helio Oiticia exhibition - see http://www.tate.org.uk/

A sign to keep going ! Glauber Rocha at the Tate Modern

I often find that when I am very worried about keeping going on this work that I get a 'signal' - something I see on TV or read in the paper is about Brazil. I know it is just a nonsense and I see it because I am 'looking' for it mentally, but it makes me feel heartened, because despite the last post I really love Brazil and its people.



And just as I was working on this tragic 'knowing' episode my nephew arrived home from work and brought up the mail - because I really had been on the computer all day - a progress from television ! And there was the brochure for the Tate - I can't afford to be a member this year, but they still send the programme. And the Helio Otiticica exhibition is on, which I knew, and along with it in June and July - all the Glauber Rocha films the 'novo cinema' of the 1960s I need to see ! I have seen only one of them - O deus e o diable , which was shown to me by my Portuguese language teacher (Newton) in Recife. It features the music of Vila-Lobos and I knew about the film before I ever saw it thanks to another very clever Brazilian friend. You can see some of these on DVD, but it is far nicer to go to the Tate and watch them with other interested Brazilanistas and Brazilians living in London, because they are very political and interesting films - although like all such films, too intellectual for popular appeal, and then banned by the dictatorship. So I need to be finished!! I need to see these films so I need money and I need to be in London !!!!

The Oiticica exhibition is having a seminar about his use of colour - which is deeply involved in the same ironic work of the same period - essentially anti-symbolic, which is explored in my Amarelo Manga film also. So I have been on the right track, just far too slow to write it all down.

Oh god, I feel better.

I meant to give you all some detail about Amarelo Manga. It seems appropriate to choose one in relation to public grief and anonymous grief over death. One of the more shocking episodes in the film is when a dead male body - or 'yellow ham' is supplied by a corrupt official for a character interested in necrophilia, to use for target practice as a private 'turn on '. In contrast when the owner of the 'Hotel Texas' dies, there is much shock and consternation while the money is found for a coffin and he is laid out in the hotel with the residents singing traditional dirges. Both scenes are replete with referencing to other films and cultures, but the contrast is intended to reflect the difference between a community that 'cares' for whatever reason - and one that does not. One who 'needs' a priest and a ceremony and one who does not.

This picture is from 1973, by A H Amaral, called Banana in green and is typical of the ironic use of colour and 'realism' - the bananas and rope. The yellow and green as the colours of the Brazilian flag marked the artistic attempts to circumvent the censorship of the dictatorship and show the real truth. Amaral was in New York.
If you have never been to the Tate Modern in London, can I urge you to visit ? It is one of my favourite parts of London, and has completely changed the old 'South Bank' image. Cross the Thames from St Paul's Cathedral on the Millenium Bridge. Fabulous.
There is a seminar on Helio Oiticica and 'The Body of Colour' which will be webcast on 2 nd June 2007. See
www.tate.org.uk/onlineevents

See you all there!

Now I really don't know what to do !

I feel in a very fragile state. And it is getting worse. Last post was very optimistic. In fact I was so optimistic that I e-mailed my supervisor to tell him what I had been doing. And got no reply. And then got too frightened to look at my e-mail which happens when I am feeling guilty and unable to cope. Along with certain physical symptoms. And so although I have done some work, for the last week or so I have been in a complete and utter funk, and have not written anything. I have put a wonderful organized plan on my Outlook calendar, and printed it all off and put it on my notice board. And I failed last Thursday to achieve the target. And I stopped. So I have been very upset about my bad financial situation and my marraige. So I sorted out my nephew instead of myself. Is this what happens when you have a breakdown? I feel incredibly isolated. the last two days I have slept on my own and got on the computer but only to do things like this. I am crying now. Such a waste if I can't get going.

I could have e-mailed a new contact about a meeting of Latin American educationalists in London today. I did not. I asked and got a little more money from my husband - just about enough to get me to London and back today. I have not gone. I could e-mail a dear friend in Brazil who encourages me to keep writing. I have another dear friend who was at University with me in New Zealand and who is gong there in September with her husband for the first time in many years. She is having an operation this week. I can't find her number.
This is so bad. I am so bad. And completely in a funk, stuck in the Suffolk countryside waiting for it all to come crashing down in my face, so my husband and children can all say I told you so!

A death in Recife: why I do this


I was doing all my time wasteful news searching in the blogs of some more organized friends and found in Recife they are all upset about a teacher who was shot dead this week in her car in Boa Viagem, just going to the supermarket. The young robbers (16, 17) had bought a gun to do robberies with, but then were so nervous when she tried to drive away that they shot her straight in the heart. Her name is Altina Margarida Marinho Coutinho, and she was 57 years old. Her family and friends are so upset that they have mounted a campaign for 'Peace for Tina', to try and do something about such tragic incidents. Tragic for everyone, for the poor young men and for Recife and for Brazil. There is a lot of comment from the 'punishment' brigade and some more reasoned words on how the young men, boys really, might think that street robbery is their only recourse in a land with such a great variation in wealth as Brazil. But Tina was no Brazilian 'millionaire'. She wasn't swanning around in diamonds and flashing US dollars. She cared about her work with all students and for those from the favelas like these young men just as much as her own children. That is why indiscriminate death is so shocking. And the solutions are very hard. I set out on a journey to do this dissertation because I visited North East Brazil and saw for myself. But I knew I needed to study in order to know what the problems were really and what solutions the local Brazilians felt could work. It is a slow process, just like my learning of the Portuguese language. It is easy to call on religious platitudes and fund simplistic 'street kid' projects. Brazil recently had a referendum on the ownership of guns to try and slow down the ease with which small pistols are sold to such 'children'. It failed. But in a country with such a high number of young people - there are not enough jobs. The education system is not robust enough to work with students who drop out like these. And for all the publicity for Tina, many more people, mainly young men, will die by the gun in Recife this week, with very little publicity and fuss from the media. This is my incentive to pass my Masters. It is not of any interest to my family. I think this is why I have such terror. I am alone in this. But I must do it.

Tina's modest car. For more details see Brazilian news sites: Try this http://www.folhape.com.br/folhape/materia_online.asp?data_edicao=14/05/2007

The Recife (and Brazil) streetwise warning for car thieves : The usual advice is to have money available in your car for robbers, stay still and give them what they want. But it is a very frightening experience, and no-one knows what you or the robbers will do if it happens.

In my father's den (New Zealand 2004)... a serious film review point by me!!!

I have finally got serious about commenting on film and put a 'review' remark on IMDB, partly because I get tired of all the crass and ignorant remarks by people who expect everything to be like dumb Hollywood stuff, or only happy enough for 12 year olds etc. And I would not bother except I meet so many nice ordinary intelligent young university students who think that this site is the best way to find out about movies - and it does seem to have some kind of remark for most movies that have at least subtitles in English. So here is a link to my first effort:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0385017/usercomments?filter=chrono

and can I ask you to look at the comment by Marilou of New York on the same page - because I didn't know she had commented, and she is my husband's cousin who grew up next door to him in Green Island, Dunedin, New Zealand but has lived in New York for over 25 years. She is not a budding film academic like me, but does a lot to support New Zealanders in the arts (especially music) in the USA. So if you can help her to get the film distributed in the USA, please...

If you read my comment you will see I had personal reasons for finding the film particularly revealing, as I lived in the area in which it was set (Central Otago) as an educated British immigrant teenager, an interesting experience ! It is very beautiful, as a hot dry mountain desert place that also has cold frosts in winter...

this still from the film captures it perfectly.

I picked up on the migration issue really, because it is about a brother returning home from a journalistic career in the world's trouble spots on the death of his father, to confront the reasons why he left. It is a proper 'film noir' in plot, but the characterisation and issues discussed are what make it so good.

Anyway I am now going to do more of these for various films that I feel are not supported enough, on various sites. And I have some friends who do the same, so expect more links like this. But this blog is not going to be a mere 'stop' for passing the reader on to all sorts of other sites. I hate that. It is about growing in confidence to express my own views and some of my friends as considered and important. Gosh - v. serious !

Last point. I seem to be surrounded by people who spend a lot of time collecting and storing their own huge collections of videos, DVDs, itunes, even youtube clips, and passing them on and sorting them out, so they can then spend loads of time re-watching the same old re-runs and few films. Well I like to collect books, but at least it is easier to just dip into them and get the bit you want. And I still borrow them from the library, even if reading recent journal articles is easier if you can download them from Jstor or whatever. More serendipity and renewal that way.

I like to go to the cinema, maybe once a week, and then turn that film over in my mind and remember it.

This weeks film - Los Olividados (Luis Bunuel, Mexico, 1942??). Seen at Arts Cinema, Cambridge. Wonderful Black and White film about street kids in Mexico City. Precursor to Pixote(1989) and Cidade de Deus (2002) from Brazil and various other 'social' Latin American and European films. A newly restored print - but the English subtitles, probably the original are awful - listen to the Spanish, which is fairly 'standard' unlike the street language of Cidade de Deus.

There is a fallow deer sitting in my garden...

For the second time this year there is a young deer sitting in the garden... just in the middle near the greenhouse and it has got one front leg amputated.... We don't usually have them any more because some hideous neighbours secretly bought the paddock land behind us and put a fence up - plus they keep a large and stupid dog, so our wild life has been a bit depleted in recent years. I just went down to take a picture but frightened it, so it has escaped back under the trampoline and into my other neighbour's garden. If his son was around he would shoot it - but it looked quite healthy despite the injury.

I wonder about animal symbolism...? Last time I went for a 'thinking' drive in the countryside near here about thirty fallow deer charged across from one field to another in front of me !Yesterday I went down to Kent to take my appendix-scarred daughter and her flatmate back for the summer term. She is 20 today and having a bit of a party, and my older daughter is coming from London to join her and then going on to Zurich for the weekend with her boyfriend. When we were in Margate hospital with the doctors who finally woke up to the fact that she needed to have that appendix out right now, a seagull came down and tapped on the glass door of her room until they went. I try not to be superstitious !

Must say journey was v. bad to start with - had to go up the A14 between Cambridge and Huntingdon first - anyone who lives locally will know that this road is a minefield of frequent accidents and long traffic jams - and sure enough... luckily we only had about half an hour delay (for about 1 mile..!) because I was able to shoot off through the villages and because the jam had just started. By the time we were heading south again the tailback was huge. On to Canterbury crossing the Dartford Bridge and the A2 roadworks about 3pm which is optimum time to be there, and not too bad. Reminds me so much of the joy of driving in Otago and Canterbury in New Zealand last year - no traffic at all!

I took advantage of journey back with a nearly full tank of petrol paid for by my husband (rare of him at 95p a litre !) to drive right up the A13 into London, parking behind the Appeal Court at 7pm and going to my University Library in Chancery Lane, which is doing the civilized thing of being open 24 hours for a couple of months for 'exam revision'. It was the second time this week I had managed to get there - and I had left my student ID card in another jacket - luckily one of the security guards is a New Zealander and knows I'm a regular so he let me in, and I tucked myself up at the top of the post-grad clock tower with a nice blank room and my laptop and got a load of work done.

My University Library
It used to be the Public Record Office until it moved to Kew. A very high Victorian Gothic Grade I listed building converted at great cost to a modern library - but they had to keep all the old small rooms and mezzanine floors that used to house all the 'Rolls' and manuscripts, so the book shelving sequence is very long and hard to follow . As a professional Librarian I would have to say it is not entirely 'user-friendly', but very nice to work in.

Clock Tower - haven for PostGrad thinking, but I always choose an internal room

Because this is too beautiful !

This is the distracting daytime view from the tower - at night the lights are really cool too!

And this is the Round Room - Reference Library - too quiet to disturb others with laptop noise, but it always make me feel a 'serious' researcher when I work in there.

Drove home at 1.30 am, only having to stop twice to refill the leaky radiator on my car - thanks to the 24 hour garage by the Millenium Dome - a regular stop of mine - thanks guys!

Actually the previous day I went to London by train to the Institute of Education so I will tell you about that in the next post - and why I now have a resurgence of faith in my dissertation.

Margate is...suprising !!

www.theburlingtonmargate.co.uk

Buenos Ayres, Margate.

I always thought Margate was very tacky, but I didn't really know it at all. My husband used to do some work at Ramsgate in the winter months many years ago, and that was dire in those days. I don't like overdone British Beach places in principle - I must do a blog on my favourite beaches. And I went to Aldburgh and Lowestoft with my New Zealand Tourist nephew last week, because we have had such lovely sunny days recently, but they are different to Margate.

Anyway I took Adri to Margate with me on Monday and took him down to the seaside area at lunchtime, to find that as well as the wonderful but decayed Regency houses at the front, there is a whole interesting 'old town' behind to explore. The other 'tourists' consisted of hundreds of European teenagers who poured off the train (good place to park - £2.20 for the day). They are probably here for the compulsary 4 week English lessons - we get the same in Cambridge and my sister Dublin has mostly Spanish youngsters there. So excitable! The local white youth are overdressed and badly mannered, lots of people with drinks, but also lots of different nationalities.

I think Margate is a place where a lot of asylum seekers went a few years ago, because they have the cheap boarding houses and it is close to London. Anyway money is being spent there, and if I could snap up one of the Regency houses before they are all turned into retirement appartments I would! (I deny being a capitalist, but I appreciate spacious historic houses)

Ari was happy to explore the cash machines and games areas, and win himself a disgusting orange furry dice. My good friend Joc, who is a professional clarinettist, and also at University in Kent doing a MA in performance, just did a recital at the Winter Gardens in Margate - and was staggered to find herself playing to over 200 people!!!! And it was sunny enough to sit on the beach yesterday too.

More Latin Americana.. Row of cheap hotels by the Railway station, with a view over the beach and town but no sun - priced between £22.50 and £11.50 a night!!! Best bit - The street is called Buenos Ayres (sic!!!) . British/International/Observation without over-diagnosis I suspect. I comment no more.

When in Margate...

Today I am at home. But yesterday and on Sunday I was in Margate ... It was very sunny but ...

My younger daughter is at university at Canterbury in Kent. And on Sunday we were going to go down to Canterbury to pick up Lou and her boyfriend. But on saturday she said she wasn't feeling very well. Now I had been getting really bad tummy pain all week, and especially on Saturday. And my family are all a bit psychic like that - we know when others are sick or hurt - or die actually. Or at least my younger sister in Dublin and I always feel these things and exchange notes from times to time. Lou is at the independent stage and wouldn't share the exact problem. but when her boyfriend rang us at 5.30 am Sunday morning from the hospital I was up and dressed and ready to go - but we couldn't get him back on the phone to get any more detail. When we rang the hospital they said she had been discharged. Then Jo her flatmate who had driven them to the hospital said she hadn't come home. So off we went then, first to Canterbury and then to Margate - because that is where the emergency hospital is. Boyfriend Stubbs finally rang and said which ward they were in - so we went through more road works - they are digging up the whole of Kent I think, and when we got there and enquired they still said she wasn't there - discharged apparently. So we went to the ward we thought she might be - a women's ward - and there she was - v. sick my poor darling with Stubbs who was v. tired and amazing hanging in there while she tried to be sick yet again.

Now I will defend the NHS to the hilt despite years of rarely used private cover for the whole liberal ethos of giving equal care to everyone. And Margate Hospital is modern and very clean. But a computer system not properly used??? Losing a patient from the system???. Now, sick enough to admit -- but then no doctor or diagnosis for 9 hours?? A young registrar turned up at 2 pm talked to Stubbs and Lou and concluded it might be a 'urine infection', might be appendicitis - didn't say to stop eating and drinking and didn't order any scan. Lou will not admit to pain. I gave birth to her without any anaesthetic and she was a breech baby (my second). She won't even take asprin. If she bravely says 'It doesn't hurt' you have to be careful. So I was telling the nurses 'look she is sicker than you think'... And then like all nice university girls she had loads of visitors in the afternoon. Then she was very sick - and finally another female registrar appeared, called I think by the nurses, who asked more questions, ordered the scan (I think it might have just been a small hand held machine - but it confirmed the probablity of appendicitis) and they then rang for and got a surgeon in , who took a look and ordered morphine (!), checked she had thrown up every thing she had eaten and took her off to surgery. Meanwhile the first registrar came and apologised for mis-diagnosis!!! Lou returned looking much better but unable by then (midnight!) to tell us what had been done, followed by the nurses throwing us out of the hospital, and we have not mananged to talk to a doctor since, although I was able to glance at her notes while the nurse explained that they had to remove the appendix and a section of bowel lining - as Louise herself said " It would have been better if they had got to it before it burst!!

So now I have to thank Stubbs and Jo and Lou's flatmates and Darcy who came down especially from Cambridgeshire to Margate only to see Lou being very sick indeed. And I will thank Margate Hospital, but they didn't really cover themselves in glory over what is quite a common diagnosis, partly because it seems to me that they have a poor cover of personnel and equipment access at the weekend. The first registrar should have been sent much sooner - we wonder whether the lack of a computer record of admission was a problem here - and then should have had back up to check his diagnonsis and Lou's prognosis. But pushy middle class mums like me are better at asking questions and seeking action. And I spent most of last year in New Zealand while my father went through a series of operations following a DVT in his leg, where in a remote country area I made mistakes in not getting help quickly enough. But a large teaching hospital - the wonderful Dunedin Hospital and the University of Otago Medical Hospital or our own Addenbrookes in Cambridge clearly has more resources than one stuck in a small town at the edge of Kent. So we just hope the surgeon has cleared up the damage - we don't know because we haven't spoken to him, and Lou has no long term damage to her bowel etc.

And hopefully both will be home for Thursday night, along with my older daughter Nic and her boyfriend and we will have a full house which means I lose my office space for a few days. Blogging doesn't really romantise such issues, but I guess it means you can bore in secret about the mundane ... . I have been thinking about the academics of the banal - the descriptive over the deeper analysis lately. I didn't mean to get sidetracked into family - but hey, I' m a mother!

Happy Easter to all.

It got a bit busy this week...

Barone 192 -193, Shoreditch High Street, London, E1 6HU. Tel 0207 729 8049

Not about the job, which is a step back in my life that I don't think I want to take just now, but afterwards when I thought I would try to drive across NE London around the congestion charge area heading towards St Katherines Dock which is a good place to park for a day and get a no 15 bus to my university. So nosing along Shoreditch High Street (don't ask, I have no sense of direction!), My beloved mercedes did what it often does in these circumstances - overheated and started to smoke from under the bonnet. I was loking to see where I could turn off, and a man rushed out from a nearby cafe to tell me to 'Stop - or your engine will explode!!!'

Any way he made me come out of the traffic and park on a bus stop right by his cafe, put a piece of old cardboard over my number plate so that the cameras on the intersection wouldn't read it and send me a traffic ticket, put up the bonnet so the car engine could cool down and had me (dressed in my interview suit and bag) in his coffee and lunch place with a lovely cup of Camomile tea while I waited and he organized water for the radiator (I didn't know how to tell him I had a bottle full in the car boot ready for this particular emergency!)

So, as I rang my daughter to tell her I would not be coming round to her place in South London, I enquired the nationality of my rescuer. He was, as I had guessed Latin American - from Chile. The other chap there was Portuguese, who made me a lovely tuna baguette for my lunch. And next door was a very interesting shop with Che Guevera t-shirts and Latin American flags and things for the trade. So another little Luso- Hispanic place to visit...

Its a long time since I was last in Shoreditch - I used to work in the area about 25 years ago, when it was very different!! So I was thrilled to find such lovely kind people, I have said my best thank-yous in Portuguese and Spanish, and have found a photo of the cafe for you all, because it is clean, smart, comfortable, lovely food, lovely people - you can sit and use your lap-top there and I can highly recommend it! Barone 192 - 193 Shoreditch High Street.

More job woes

Bounced by an eager jobs agent into going to an interview at a great big private school tomorrow. Nooooooooo! I don't want it..... Please don't make me go.....

Madness in Cambridge University

If anyone reads this and loves Portuguese, please, please sign the petition opposed to the dropping of Portuguese Language in the Modern Languages Department at Cambridge University. It just impacts on so many other areas of the University - including Latin American Studies, Film and science - think of work in the Amazon, Africa - Angola and Mozambique, and East Asia. Plus there are loads of Portuguese speaking potential students in East Anglia - the children of the migrant workers there. Or maybe Cambridge isn't interested in social inclusion ?
www.petitiononline.com//portsACP/-

Lucky Blogging

So I read my e-mail. And the recruitment people offering the tacky job have withdrawn my interview. Thank God! And then my application for an intern say I'm over qualified, but can they discuss the results with me in September ?!!! Might be positive?? I will take it as such. Anyway now I have to go and pick up nephew. And have added one of a group of inspirational blogs - see left, from Yvette Perry which discusses the question of 'egocasting' which is rather the same as cv writing and job interviewing. E.g. Which persona fits today??? So another time to consider my blog ethics. With maturity comes caution.... but you know fear is still there how ever old your life.

I had a dream about my father's house in New Zeland this morning, because it has been sold becuase he is in care elsewhere. I spent a lot of time there last year. Because there was a lot of family trouble, which as the eldest I sought of tried to fix - but you know I live in England. Anyway dream - I was in the 'living room' which once years ago was my bedroom and on my knees taking out some papers I left there last year from a old cabinet there. And the front door (which was rarely used) unlocked and my brother and his wife came in to say my father was dead. He isn't - I checked, but it was a way of saying his independence is over. Didn't notice it was weighing so heavy on my mind. But there you are. There is more interpretation but not for publication. So setting up the barriers.

Updating my stupidity over perfectionism

Well I am facing defeat in the face over my dissertation. Spent most of the month writing and re-writing a review which turned into an essay over the second film of my director Claudio Assis which is called Baixio das Bestas (Bog of Beasts) which I saw at Rotterdam. Both are unfinished. I have seen my professor twice and handed nothing in and this is the last week of term. How weak is that?
So I think he will give up on me.
I have applied for various jobs, and only have an interview for one so badly paid and junior that I must be completely stir-crazy to even consider it - and the temporary relocation to London that it would involve.
I actually spent most of the month writing diary like entries of pure angst too terrible to put up here.
Question. What does a mental breakdown look like?
Positive notes. I have just signed up to take a course on Latin American Film taken at the lovely Arts Cinema here at Cambridge. It will be taught by Sarah who is writing a PhD on the Peruvian Film Industry. She is going to show some of the Brazilian Cinema Novo films that I need to see. Problem: It costs £60 which I do not have.
And I have been sent an invitation to a conference in Rio with the Brazilian Film Studies Students for October which is a huge incentive if only I had written anything worthwhile !
So I am going to go and have a cup of tea. Then I am going to look at my e-mails and send some off befor 5. And then I am going to do some work. And stop crying.
And then see if my nephew wants to go to his German lesson in Ely, which I usually spend talking to a wonderful retired Maths professor called Prof. Maude. And I will tell you about him another time.

Carnival in Recife and Olinda

Carnival! The first time I went to Brazil was in 2002, with my eldest daughter who was 18, and we got taken to Carnival- to watch carnival, to be in the carnival, to dance in the streets, listen to the music in Recife and in Olinda. And it was wonderful.... so I really miss that experience! Anyway, I found this link to some really neat cartoons by ACAPE (the association of Pernambucan Cartoonists) on Carnaval 2007 - Frevendo no traco! Pernambuco - falando para o mundo!

Film, Recife and Rotterdam

I am writing a dissertation. Actually I am re-writing a dissertation. About a wonderful place in Brazil called Recife. Actually about a film called Amarelo Manga (2002) which is set in the city and was made by Claudio Assis. And the reason I am writing about this, is because I have spent a bit of time in Brazil and studying its culture here in London, and I am interested in the most striking thing for any European visitor to the North East of Brazil in particular, and that is the great gap between rich and poor that you see there. And also what can be done.... Anyway, Claudio Assis, and the scriptwriter Hilton Lacerda, and the wonderful cameraman Walter Caravelho, have now made a second film, which is called Bog of Beasts, and which had its 'world premiere' in Rotterdam, where it also got a Tiger Award. And such is the way of film distribution that it may never be shown in London, and my finances don't stretch to Brazil at the moment - so I had to go to Rotterdam really didn't I?! Was that selfish? Necessary?. Yes, yes and yes!

Any way if you are curious - be warned - this is a film for maturity. I mean it. But not a film to take at 'face value'. So next post will be my considered review. Which I have taken time off my dissertation to write. Because bad, ignorant film reviews are all over the internet. But remember - maturity only!

International Film Festival Rotterdam 24 Jan - 4 Feb 2007

Web site: www.filmfestivalrotterdam.com

Actually I only went for 1 film (yes one film!). But it was academic work, truely!

This film festival shows all sorts of films from all over the world, most of which don't get any where near the mainstream 'hollywood' cinema near you. And it gives financial awards to encourage the directors and filmakers to keep producing things that question the fictional 'truths' of cinema.

Actually Holland is pretty close to where I live in the UK. I was able to drive to Norwich, leave my car there, fly to Amsterdam (45 minutes) take a train to Rotterdam and get a ticket to see my film at 1.15 pm on Saturday 4th February. Then I got a place to sleep at a very good hostel on the old harbour area there (www.roomrotterdam.nl) for 22 euros, including sheets. Very nice self service kitchen where I met some great travellers from Canada, Hungary (who were in the film industry), Spain, and Brazil ... ah Brazil. Brazil is why I did this trip, more in a minute...
Also a 64 year old lady from the UK who helped me chew the fat over my next life move - thank you Christina! The next day I took the train to the Hook of Holland, and used the last of my money, and my unstamped train ticket to get the ferry back to Harwich. Luckily the trip included food! I had a real interesting time speaking to an australian digital graphics film maker and a british serviceman (who had been in Afghanistan and Iraq). I got in at 8pm and called my husband to pick me up - no money for the train, and needed to get the car out of car park at Norwich airport! Weather - thick fog and predicted snow. And it turned out - bird flu at Bernard Matthews just along the road to Norwich. Anyway, husband was so incensed at my activities that he accidently filled the car with petrol instead of Diesel, and had to call the RAC to drain it all out - 3 hours later came to get me, with nephew in tow. (Nephew told me all this!) So to Norwich in freezing fog, husband has to use credit card for my parking, leaves me and nephew to find car, defrost it, and then find petrol is on 'yellow'. I drove in the freezing fog at less than 40 miles an hour in the middle of the night 50 miles down the A11, and made it home!!!!!. So - in fairness - my interesting life at the expense of others???

Procrastination and the mature student

Mature students: capable, knowing their strengths and weaknesses, hard working, 'sorted', even solvent ----- ?

Family of mature student. Supportive, forgiving, helpful, proud.

This mature student? In meltdown. In debt. Undermined. Fed up.

Feeble minded female?? Yes. Due to demands of 'do something, useful, get a job!', I actually spent precious time being interviewed for temporary work in my 'profession' as a librarian.
see Youtube- March of the Librarians for reasons not! Job suggested: cataloguing medical stuff at the University my younger daughter attends. Who is so anti-mum studying instead of paying for her accomodation that she has refused to let me visit her! Simple choice really. So why the guilt?? Nature wires us mothers to care for helpless little ones. Does selflessness have to be a prison sentence ?

Reason for punishing myself. Wonderful trip to Rotterdam (using the rent money from my nephew !). See next post.

A little more justification...

My daughters and friends and other young writers that I know in Brazil all indulge themselves with this kind of on-line diary. When older people write they are seen sometimes as a bit 'childlike'. So I have been told. But it is a liberating mix - for publication, but not for publication. Personal, but not as personal as a secret (handwritten) diary. Self promotional - undoubtedly.
Practical - yes. Procrastination? A sign of someone 'wasting time'?
Well I want to indulge myself with working out some self-knowledge. And some review and writing work that is not so 'academic', but reflective.

I spend some of my time with intelligent young people because they are not strung up on possessions in the way my generation still is. On a journey of discovery common to quite a lot of 'empty nesters', where making up the loss of time spent on my two wonderful daughters and a self-employed husband is much more fun than fussing about health and pensions.But I am interested in the way different generations and different nations work out communication. Especially via culture such as film. How much do we need to understand before we 'label' and 'patronise'. Especially in 'development'.For now, a postgraduate student at a major London University. For tomorrow? Anything that I can be!

Knowing procrastination.....my 'change one thing' pledge

A new year resolution - a public outlet for my procrastination virus. I have written the word on my little card from Boots the Chemist.

Which will locate me in the uk.

But the procrastination is worldwide.

And particularly over the writing of my (very minor) dissertation which involves Brazil

And some other life changing things which this blog may or may not publicize.